Singing His Praise!

I am still here.. just hanging on. Letting life go by for now.

I praise God for the things he has given me over the last few months. Things are getting better, still not back to normal, but slowly moving forward.

I am going to start posting again in the next few days, I just haven't been making the time to sit down and write out my thoughts. I miss it, so will continue very soon.

God is good!

Insight

Insight into your own life is hard.

Trying to make changes in your own life to live for the Lord is hard.

Keeping up with the changes is even harder!

How long o Lord must I call for help?

Sorry I've missed a few weeks posting. Did you miss me? The night after my last post, January 16th, I was involved in a car accident. My daughter and I were very lucky. She seems to be doing well and I came out of it with whiplash, left hand injuries, shoulder, and back pain. My car is totaled. At this point I can't finance another car so I am back to driving the paid for car, my husbands work car, that will just get us around town. That means no weekend trips to see my family that lives 2 hours away. Oh, and did I mention we are still without medical insurance? Everything I need medical wise has to come out of my pocket. I know I will get reimbursed at some point from her insurance company since she was at fault but the out of pocket costs are killing us. On top of the medicals I now have to pay, thanks to some lady not paying attention, I still need to pay for utilities, housing, groceries, etc.

So I started asking God why do some people get what they want? Why do I always get the bad luck? Why do mean people prosper? I feel like God is dangling the Kong ball in front of my face. You know the dog toy ball that you fill full of treats like peanut butter but you have to work like heck to get a taste of the peanut butter. When can I taste my peanut butter? Those questions bring me to the book of Habakkuk.

Habakkuk, did you know that was in the bible? I have seen it several times but kept skipping over it until it was brought to my attention on a show that was played for us with Beth Moore in it. Habakkuk is one of the small books hiding in a group of small books in the Old Testament. It is a very small book, just a couple of chapters, but it doesn't play around, it gets right to the answers. What a powerful message you can receive in just those few chapters. If you've ever asked yourself or God why the wicked prosper, like I was asking, this is your book with answers.

"How long, O Lord, must I call for help? But you do not listen!...Must I forever see this sin and misery all around me? Wherever I look, I see destruction and violence...The law has become paralyzed and useless, and there is no justice given in the courts. The wicked far outnumber the righteous." Habakkuk 1:2-4 (NLT)

I can't get the peanut butter! I know it's in the ball but I just can't get it. Like Habakkuk I know God has to let me deal with the decisions and choices I've made but sometimes it's hard. I know I'm not disciplined enough to follow his words and this lesson is a long hard one to bear. I know that God doesn't mean to hurt me or make me sad. It's just hard to understand when you're still in the midst of things. I know God is teaching me discipline and making me walk closer with him and follow his word. If I just hold on I know the prize in the end will be well worth it. Just like the peanut butter is a prize worth the trouble in the Kong ball to the little dog who tries so hard. When he finally reaches the middle he has succeeded. When I finally get through the trouble, sorrow, and heartache I will be closer to God and through my faith and trust in Him, I will get to heaven and that my friend will be victory, my peanut butter!

I would like for you to continue to pray for my family and I as we continue to take ourselves through these hard times. I would like to pray for you as well. If you have any prayer requests, please post them in the comments for me.

Volunteering - My Responsibility

"Don't be selfish; don't live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. Don't think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and what they are doing. " -Philippians 2:3-4 (NLT)

Don't live to make a good impression on others. That's a strong statement in today's world. It seems everyone wants to keep up with their neighbors. I fall into that trap sometimes. I look at what others have and want, want, want. But, this year I am going to focus on making a good impression on God. That is my top priority. Walk in his steps and he will lead you down a path full of hope and love. Don't worry if you step off the path, he is still there to guide you back. "Put people first". I hope to do a lot of that this year as I look for some great agencies to volunteer my time to. After much talking last year and not starting...don't sing it, bring it, lol...I hope to get very involved with other people. I may not have a lot of material things to give but I do have my time to share. God has opened my days so that I can be faithful in his word and start putting his plan into action.

I hope you will join me this year in volunteering your time or resources to an agency or program that God has put on your heart. If you do volunteer, please comment and let me know where you volunteer and what you do. I am still looking for some places to share my time with and I would love to hear your experiences.

New Year...New Resolutions

I know a lot of people don't make resolutions because they are hard to keep and you feel bad at the end of the year when you haven't reached your goal. Well, this year I am going to make some resolutions that I can keep (hopefully)!

#1: Have a closer relationship with God and keep my faith in him.

#2: Keep up with my morning/night studies and readings in the Word.

#3: This year I am truly going to work on finding out how he wants to work through me. I want to find out what gifts he has given to me to be used for him.

#4: Volunteer in my community. I looked into this at the end of last year, but never fully committed myself.

#5: Learn to pray the right way. Well, I'm not sure there is a right way and a wrong way, but I sure want to find out!

#6: I'll just throw this in there since it's on all the lists every year, learn to eat healthy, continue the gym and all that mumbo jumbo, right? lol

So, I want to be closer to God, that's my #1 right? In order to do that, I have to have faith. Faith is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen. No ifs, ands, or buts, it will happen.

"So, you see, it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that there is a God and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him" Hebrews 11:6 (NLT)

I have faith that God will protect me and my family and provide for us. But I intend on working to keep my faith at all times. When things are going badly I lose a little faith but God always comes through. Even if he uses someone totally unexpected to send the message. My faith was restored this week and my heart is bubbling over. I totally was in a pit and something so awesome came to me last week and I was shocked, and excited. Overwhelmed actually! God knew I was at the bottom and trying to reach out of the pit and couldn't get a grip on the side. But, he gave me that little hope and now I can't wait to see what else he has planned for me.

So, Resolution #1 has started... now to move on to #2!

The Ultimate Gift

This holiday season has been extremely hard in our family. If you've read other entries in my blog then you know my husband was with out a job for several, several weeks. That makes Christmas time hard. Gifts aren't cheap. As I sat down with my Christmas list trying to find a way to buy anything on it my mind kept drifting off. I kept thinking about the ultimate gift. God gave his Son.. his ONLY son for us!

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16 (NLT)

We all know that verse. It is one of the first verses we learn in Sunday School I think. God gave us his son - but do we think about what else He gave us? He gave some of us the ability to preach and teach, to help, to guide, to serve, to give encouragement, to show mercy, and to lead. God has given us these gifts to serve him.

He will "gift" us eternal life in heaven if we follow him. With all the gifts he is bestowing upon us, he is the ultimate gift giver, right? We just have to follow him. His path will guide us. My small pile of gifts seem insignificant compared to that. I can't give anyone gifts compared to what God gave. But, I can tell everyone about his awesome gifts so they can enjoy them with me.

I hope you have a Merry Christmas. On this day remember to take time to inventory the gifts you have from God, learn to use them, and give him praise.

Did you hear about her?

"Did you hear about Anna?"
"I don't mean to gossip but, "
"Can you believe she did that?"
"Well I heard Paul has been cheating on her for months and they are heading straight for a D-I-V-O-R-C-E!"
"But, I don't mean to gossip so let's not talk about it."

How many times have we ended a conversation like that? After we have already heard all the gossip? Gossip is everywhere. It's in schools, colleges, your work place, even in churches. When we get out of school we are so excited because we think all those years of lies, gossiping behind backs, and untruths are long gone. Then we get a job and realize that was just a dream. We hear them in the break room and they are flying through emails and telephones burning up the lines.

"What dainty morsels rumors are but they sink deep into one's heart." Proverbs 18:8 (NLT)

Gossip and rumors are hard to resist. People always want to be friends with the ones "in the know". But, we have to remember there are people associated with the rumors and hurtful words being spread about them. Someone will be hurt. We don't mean to hurt others, but we do. It always feels good to be the person everyone wants to talk to. Doesn't it feel good to walk in a room and everyone wants to run up and talk to you? Well, here is my chance to break the mold. I want to be the one everyone can't wait to run up to and share all the good things and praises about the Lord to. I want to be the one that everyone would love to share their week with. I want to spread God's word, not gossip and rumors.

"I will praise the Lord at all times. I will constantly speak his praises. I will boast only in the Lord; let all who are discouraged take heart. Come let us tell of the Lord's greatness; let us exalt his name together. " Psalm 34:1-3 (NLT)

More Now!

"All I am asking Lord is that my husband will get a job. Any job. We just need some income!" -For 35 days I prayed and asked others to pray for the same thing. Finally he did get a job! Not just one job, but two jobs.. I was elated! God heard and answered our prayers.

But, now I keep catching myself asking for more. How can that be? I just knew we would be ok if my husband got a job... any job... right? So why more now? Why do I feel like we need more money for stuff? We have everything we need.

"Reverence for the Lord is pure, lasting forever. The laws of the Lord are true; each one is fair. They are more desirable than gold, even the finest gold. They are sweeter than honey, even honey dripping from the comb." Psalm 20:9-10 (NLT)

Did you read that? His laws are fair and true. They are more desirable than gold! What he gave me is a fair amount so why am I still asking for more? More pay, some benefits, more hours, more, more, more. By asking these questions I feel like I am saying God didn't do enough. I feel like he is taunting us when I see what everyone else has when I am barely hanging on to my home and making ends meet.

"In everything you do, stay away from the complaining and arguing." Philippians 3:14 (NLT)

I am full of complaints. I was fooling myself saying they were suggestions to God. But they weren't. They were complaints. God gave me what I asked for and now I am complaining and asking for more? That isn't right. I need to step back and rethink things. If I look at my situation and list the things God has done to help me, I shouldn't complain. I have what I need and that's all I asked for. I need to look up to the Lord and praise him and trust him. He knows where I am going. He knows exactly what will happen to our future.

"In him lie hidden all the treasure of wisdom and knowledge." Colossians 2:3 (NLT)

I am challenging myself to not complain and argue. Will you join me in this challenge? I am going to be happy with what I have. I will not argue with my husband or daughter or anyone at work. I will walk away when I want to complain about why someone gets something that I don't have. I will walk away and know that in him lie all the wisdom and knowledge.

A lesson in humility

"Whoever gives to the poor will lack nothing. But a curse will come upon those who close their eyes to poverty." Proverbs 28:27 (NLT)

My heart had hardened towards all the "gimmes". You know what they are. Please donate to this charity; please take an angel from the tree; please send canned goods; give clothes for the school to hand out; donate for pets, the list continues to grow. Everyone needs something all the time. It is never ending.

As I sat around ignoring them until the next check, feeling a little above them, my life crumbled around me. With my husband losing his job, with his age and small disability (that he refuses to admit) I became worried that there was no hope. I knew we would lose our home and other things if he didn't get a job or help quick. Wow, that will really take you down a notch or two, know what I mean? It made me realize not everyone who needs help are lazy or just playing the system. Sometimes life happens and we are suppose to give to others.

"But if anyone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need and refuses to help - how can Gods love be in that person? 1 John 3:17 (NLT)

I wasn't showing God's love. I was being greedy and self righteous. So God took it away. He gave me plenty of warning signs that I ignored. He gave me plenty of opportunities that I passed. God knew he needed something drastic to turn my heart. He did break through the barrier.

"Dear children let us stop just saying we love each other; let us really show it by our actions." 1 John 3:18 (NLT)

After all, having a loving, giving heart feels so much better than an ice cold heart.

God keeps his promises!

"Without wavering, let us hold tightly to the hope we say we have, for God can be trusted to keep his promises." Hebrews 10:23 (NLT)

"Keep his promise" that is so hard for many of us to do in today's world. So many promise things they can't do. I know most promise with good intentions but things happen to lead them away from fulfilling their promises. I know I am guilty of it. But God keeps his promises and we can count on that when everything or everyone else fails us.

For a month now myself, my family, and my friends (thanks bunches Women's Community group) have been praying relentlessly for my husband to find a job. We weren't picky, just anything to keep a roof over our head and food on the table. Well, I am telling you now, God is great! Not only did Chris start a part time job this weekend, he starts his full time job on Monday!

"Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you."Psalm 37:5 (NLT)

I've committed myself to God. I trusted him and he did help us. Not only did he help us financially by having the jobs for Chris, he brought us closer to him. He taught me lessons on patience, humility, tithing, and self righteousness. He brought Chris back into the church family and showed me their is hope in our future if I just lean on him and trust His word.

"For our hearts shall rejoice in him because we have trusted in his holy name." Psalm 33:21 (KJV)

Oh what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive! - Sir Walter Scott

Lies and deception, that is what Satan is about.

"...there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies." - John 8:44 (NLT)

Satan is trying to move in . I can feel him everywhere I turn. He feeds me lies and tries to make me believe him.
*I have full control.
*I can't ever beat my food addiction.
*It's ok if I have just a little, I know when to stop.
*After the month I've had I need and deserve this.
*I don't need God. I can handle this by myself.
How do I know it's a lie? It brings guilt, misery, and shame when I think about it. Satan likes that. He feeds on our sins to talk us into more sin. He wants us to fail. When we start walking closer to God he tries everything to break us apart. I want Satan to know he is not welcome. I will not let him win this time.

"When the spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not be presenting his own idea; he will be telling you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future. He will bring me glory by revealing to you whatever he receives from me. John 16:13-14 (NLT)

God is the Spirit of Truth! I will follow his teachings. God says in Philippians 4:8-9 "And now, dear brothers and sisters, let me say one more thing as I close this letter. Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure, lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned from me and heard from me and saw me doing, and the God of peace will be with you.(NLT)

So I have to ask myself, is this honest and fair? Am I being/what I am doing, is it honest and fair? Are my thoughts pure, lovely, and admirable? They aren't when I listen to the lies of Satan. I want God's peace. I will continue to read and study his Word. I will continue to walk with him in my new found patience. He is the truth, and the light. I will follow him.

"Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you."James 4:8 (NLT)

Discouragement, I am full of it

As I sat talking to my friend on messenger last night, pouring out all the bad things that have happened over the last 30 days, I started to question why. Why would God allow this to happen to us? We go to church, we tithe, we pray, we help others. What more could I do to follow him? Discouragement has settled deep into my soul.

"Lord help! They cried in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress." -Psalm 107:13 (NLT)

I am crying for help Lord, I need your help to get through this stronghold Satan has on me. Why isn't 30 days long enough for Chris to find a job or another part time job for myself? Why did you allow my heat to go out again at the start of the winter? Why did my car mess up at the worse time ever? There are many other difficulties that we've had this month, but those are just a few. The questions kept coming and after every question I would ask Why God... Why are they happening to me? Why haven't I seen a change in anything yet?

Then I picked up "Praying God's Word" by Beth Moore. Flipping through the chapters I found something that was written for me. I know God directed the words to me. I just had to find them.

"Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord." -Psalm 27:14 (NLT)

Wait patiently for the Lord..patiently?? Isn't 30 days enough time to wait? It seemed ages to me with bills piling up and no health insurance. But the Lord reminds me that is my time line, not his. Patience...he keeps whispering that word in my ear. When the word patience doesn't seem to be getting through to me, I hear another verse:

"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." -Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT)

So he does have a plan for me, doesn't he? He is working on my family and myself. I can't see his plan, I don't know his plan, but he offered that verse to ease my aches, so I know there is a plan for me.

"We can rejoice too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us-they help us learn to endure." - Romans 5:3

Boy, what a lesson in endurance I am getting this month! Every day brings a trial for me. I never ask what else can happen, because I know what else can happen. But, I am learning more about the Lord and how to walk in his steps. He is guiding me to be the person he wants me to be. The person he asked me to be everyday.

"Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall." -Psalm 55:22

I am not sure where my steps are leading Lord, but I will follow you. I ask that you direct my steps where you want me to go. Show me your way.

Time..who has more time to give?‏

While reading my devotional this morning, time was the topic. Give more of your time for God. Time, who has more time to give to something else? I am always busy with work, busy with my daughter, my husband needs something, the house needs to cleaned, the pets need attention, the family needs to eat, and then I have to get things together for the next morning....time is something I did NOT have!! Then, I read this verse:

"Test Me in this way... See if I will not open the floodgates of heaven
and pour out a blessing for you without measure" (Malachi 3:10)

WOW... he will bless us without measure in exchange for some of my time. He must really want us to spend a little time with him in his word. He must long for us to reach out to him and follow him. He wants us to test him so that he can show us all the blessings he has for us.

Over the last month, I have done what he is asking. I get up an hour early to read and meditate in his word and use my daily devotional. For the first few days I just had a calm over my body through out most of the day. I couldn't put my finger on what was different, but I knew it was something. Then over the last few days when I feel stressed and overcome with fear and anger I hear the words I have been reading. It is an instant calmness throughout. I don't always remember the scripture word for word, but I remember enough to get me through the moment. As most of you know Chris is still without a job, it will be a month this week. Usually I have severe panic attacks when something drastic happens (and for my family he was the sole bread winner.. so can you say DRASTIC!?!?!)! But, I am calm and ok with the situation as it is now. I know that he has a job for Chris, we just have to find it and that will take time.

Time.... that word pops up everywhere doesn't it? The Lord wants us to give him more time in all we do. In exchange for our time.... he will bless us without measure. Sounds like an awesome exchange for me, doesn't it to you? Is God testing time for you? Will you let him open the floodgates and pour out his blessings for you, or would you like to continue with the way things are going and run out of time?