As I sat talking to my friend on messenger last night, pouring out all the bad things that have happened over the last 30 days, I started to question why. Why would God allow this to happen to us? We go to church, we tithe, we pray, we help others. What more could I do to follow him? Discouragement has settled deep into my soul.
"Lord help! They cried in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress." -Psalm 107:13 (NLT)
I am crying for help Lord, I need your help to get through this stronghold Satan has on me. Why isn't 30 days long enough for Chris to find a job or another part time job for myself? Why did you allow my heat to go out again at the start of the winter? Why did my car mess up at the worse time ever? There are many other difficulties that we've had this month, but those are just a few. The questions kept coming and after every question I would ask Why God... Why are they happening to me? Why haven't I seen a change in anything yet?
Then I picked up "Praying God's Word" by Beth Moore. Flipping through the chapters I found something that was written for me. I know God directed the words to me. I just had to find them.
"Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord." -Psalm 27:14 (NLT)
Wait patiently for the Lord..patiently?? Isn't 30 days enough time to wait? It seemed ages to me with bills piling up and no health insurance. But the Lord reminds me that is my time line, not his. Patience...he keeps whispering that word in my ear. When the word patience doesn't seem to be getting through to me, I hear another verse:
"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." -Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT)
So he does have a plan for me, doesn't he? He is working on my family and myself. I can't see his plan, I don't know his plan, but he offered that verse to ease my aches, so I know there is a plan for me.
"We can rejoice too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us-they help us learn to endure." - Romans 5:3
Boy, what a lesson in endurance I am getting this month! Every day brings a trial for me. I never ask what else can happen, because I know what else can happen. But, I am learning more about the Lord and how to walk in his steps. He is guiding me to be the person he wants me to be. The person he asked me to be everyday.
"Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall." -Psalm 55:22
I am not sure where my steps are leading Lord, but I will follow you. I ask that you direct my steps where you want me to go. Show me your way.
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